The ubiquitous question: "but what about socialization?"

Assalamu alaikom

I do think that's the first question I get when people ask about homeschooling.  Funny thing is, for people who do homeschool, it is one of the last things we talk about if we even talk about it at all.

Each situation and family is different, so take what you read here with a grain of salt.  For us, though, wondering how they would be 'socialized' never factored in our decision making. 

Let's look at the first issue, which is the biggest reason I initially considered homeschooling.  I wanted our religious beliefs to be the normal frame of reference for my children.  I could see that what lay ahead of them was a double life.  The one at home and the one at school.  You could say that is a little pessimistic of me, but during their last year at public school I could see the influence sneaking in.  Why would I have such a nagging feeling when I'd drop them off in the mornings?  I seriously would feel like keeping them with me instead of watching them walk into school.  They were struggling with what we had been teaching them and what they were living with 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. And by the end of the day, they'd get in the car conflicted, angry, aggressive, and we'd all take the brunt of it for a couple of hours after school.  Often, I could pinpoint the problem to social issues, and it bothered me that they were so stressed out by school. 

So... knowing that little bit of background, you can imagine that I wouldn't mind if my children weren't hanging out in that environment any more.  Not that I have a problem with any of those kids in particular; it's the environment of all of those people together for the whole day.  This is the first aspect.  I don't mind that my kids aren't "socializing" in the schoolyard arena.

Secondly, it did take a few weeks for the kids to stop talking about their school friends on a daily basis, but that's normal.  We all go through that when we leave college, leave a job, or move to another city. It takes times to transition from not seeing those people everyday!  Thankfully, this transition went very well and quickly.  Going on summer vacation helped.

Further, we entered a whole new paradigm.  We literally shifted our perception of LIFE!!!  While I researched and prayed about homeschooling, I started to see how we'd have to shift our perspective a little.  Especially me.  I had to embrace the love!  Lots of kids at home most of the day with just me.  Most people wonder why or how I would choose to do that.  They want to know how I don't go crazy and how I get alone time.  Well, I wanted to have a lifestyle with my children IN it rather than them be OUT of it except for afternoons and weekends.  So I decided that instead of leading separate lives we'd go through life together. 

As you know,life is BUSY!  We're pretty busy, too.  Schoolwork takes up our mornings up until lunch, and sometimes a little bit after lunch, but after that we're doing lots of stuff.  The kids are in sports, scouts, and see relatives and friends often.  They make friends on their teams, in their troops, and with loved ones of all ages.  We take them to volunteer, to visit elderly relatives, and on vacations that we might not take if we were tied to the school calendar.  They interact with people all the time, it's just not with the same 30 people every single day, day after day.  I never doubted that their extra-curricular activites would be lacking.  In fact, I wonder how I'm supposed to keep up with the driving around and with scheduling everyone without double-booking!

Since there are four of them, they always have someon to talk to or play with, masha'Allah, at home.  It's a blessing, really. They play board games, put together puzzles, paint, color, dress up, and most fun: play nerf guns with darts in the house!  Being together all day is pretty good training, actually. They get to practice patience, respect, and self control ALL the time with each other.  There are too many 'teachable moments' related to character.  What's nice, though, is that I am here to talk to them, to guide them, and to give them the chance to grow.  These things take time and patience, and I'm happy they're under my supervision while they're learning these virtues rather than them being somewhere else. 

On a final note,  I know they won't be exposed to a lot of mainstream and common school issues, but that is fine with me.  I don't think it will matter to them as adults, in the big picture.  What does matter is that this works for us, and by the grace of Allah, we're doing it.  For how long, for how many kids, I don't know.  We're just taking it one day at a time.