"And glorify Him morning and evening" [33:42]

I look at my baby girl. It's like I'm looking at a baby for the first time. How Allah creates us in the way He does is awesome. How we are born and how we exist that first year is awesome. It is so large that all we can do is smile, giggle, make noises, and faces to this little creature that is so different from the being it will be in a few short months. I look at her and feel sad for her vulnerability. She will not survive without the help of another. She cannot express many things. She doesn't know how to reach and get that one object she's eyeing. I wonder if her brain processes that the way mine would, or if her brain really doesn't care one way or another just yet.

I look at my baby girl and wonder when I will die. Why am I thinking of death when presented with this new life in front of me? Because it is a stark reminder of the Power of Allah. He creates, He takes. "To every People is a term appointed: When their term is reached, not an hour can they cause delay, Nor (an hour) can they advance (in anticipation)." [7:34] I don't wonder when I will die because I wish I knew the actual time, but I just wonder if I will be old, if my children will be young, and stuff like that. I remind myself that it could be any time, and that my family will have to move on regardless. I remind myself of my duties to my Lord and not to put to much importance on the 'things' of this life. "The material things which you are given are but the conveniences of this life and the glitter thereof; But that which is with God is better and more enduring: Will you not then be wise?" [28:60]

So I count my blessings, and I renew my faith. I will strive to do better. I will need reminder after reminder, as we all do. I will turn to my sisters for support, encouragement, and comfort. I will enjoy my children, my husband, and what I do have in this life right now. May Allah protect us from the tempation of the devil, may He make us content with what we have, and may He guide us to the right path.